


the beginning is the end (it's a vicious cycle)

by gracon_bacon



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, M/M, Neku's stuck in the UG wearing disco tuxedos, OOC!Joshua...for a good reason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracon_bacon/pseuds/gracon_bacon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neku wakes up in the middle of Scramble Crossing for the fifth time, and this time he knows he’s dead. (On indefinite hiatus)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Déjà Vu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bocchama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bocchama/gifts).



_"Take me far where stars are still asleep…”_

Neku shouldn’t have let Shiki drag him to her school prom. As much as he loved her, there were a few lines he wasn’t willing to cross, and one of them was attending a disco-theme school party.

Of course, his girlfriend didn’t care what lines he didn’t want to cross. Which was why he was here, wearing much more wax than he usually used (meaning, a whole tub instead of just half) and his hair ‘artfully’ styled to magically hold up this dance headband Eri said completed his look. His ‘look’ was a sparkly sky blue top that made his dog go more colour-blind and matching wide-end pants several shades darker.

To the two girls’ credit, though, Neku looked…good, or as good as one can look wearing clothes that definitely didn’t match the time period, even in Shibuya. Luckily, this was the only time he was going to be caught in these clothes, so he supposed he’d just survive the night.

“Oh, c’mon Neku! At least dance with me, even just once!” Shiki whined into his ear, her wrist digging into his arm as she tried to pull him into the dance floor. Neku wasn’t budging at all though, and this was definitely one line that he was going to keep from crossing. He _hated_ dancing, mostly because he _can’t_ dance at all, and he won’t bother correcting this anytime soon, even for her.

After a few more tries, Shiki finally gave up and pouted at him before leaving for the dance floor, off to look for a more willing partner. It didn’t really bother Neku anymore – the two of them have been fighting for a while now, and although his attendance to this party was supposed to be an apology for being a killjoy boyfriend, he didn’t want to be forced to do more than that. He knew it was a jerk move, but Shiki knew what kind of person he was. For the life of him he still didn’t understand why he said yes to her confession a year ago.

“You were still raw from the Game; of course you’d say yes to the one who was most important to you.”

 _What the-!_ Neku nearly jumped as he _felt_ a warm breath behind his ear, and the voice was a little too familiar for comfort. He quickly turned around to look at the boy he hadn’t seen in a year – _since waking up alive in Scramble_ – but he was met with a very hard wall, which made sense since he was leaning against it, but –

He swore he felt it, and there was no mistaking that voice either, but there really was no way for anyone to –

 _Wait._ His eyes narrowed as he recalled his Game days. _Is he imprinting on me? Makes sense he could do it, since he’s the Composer…Maybe he could imprint whole sentences too…_

This was just ridiculous. There was no way he was going to be toyed with by Joshua again. He hadn’t even forgiven the bastard for using him last time; pigs have to fly before he’d let Joshua do that again. _Get out of my head and go away. Look for someone else to toy with, asshole_.

This time, Neku swore he heard a nasty chuckle in his ears again, but he ignored it as he pushed himself off the wall and to the dance floor.

 

_Shiki, you better be nearby…_

* * *

_No, no, fucking hell no!_

That was definitely the last straw, Neku thought as he stormed out of the school gates and to the busy Tokyo streets. He’d known he was a bit of a natural jerk, but he’d never even thought of cheating on Shiki at all. She didn’t really seem the type too, until he found her slow-dancing with a boy he knew was in her class and had a giant crush on her even before Neku met her.

It wouldn’t have been so incriminating had she not _kiss_ her dance partner on the lips, which was what really twisted the knife.

He was fuming as he crossed the roads, barely mindful of the traffic lights. Was she trying to make him jealous? Well she didn’t really succeed – he was just angry now, not at the boy she was with but Shiki herself. It wasn’t just a betrayal of their relationship; for Neku it was like being trampled by a thousand Bear Noises at the same time. It actually _hurt_ , that his first friend (and girlfriend) was so insensitive to his feelings.

 

Neku quickly fished out his phone from his pocket, wincing at Shiki’s face as his wallpaper, and typed a furious “Let’s break up” as he walked down the pedestrian lane. He was busy scrolling down his contacts list for Shiki’s name, he didn’t even notice the truck uncontrollably speeding his way until it hit him.

 

* * *

 

Neku wakes up in the middle of Scramble Crossing for the fifth time, and this time he knows he’s dead.


	2. Long Dream

_“In this long dream, can you find me?”_

_Ugh…_

His head spun as he woke up on the grimy sidewalk. For a moment his vision was clouded with white spots, and it was definitely too bright to be staring directly into the mid-morning sun…

_What –_

Mind startled alert, Neku got on his feet, eyes widened as he quickly looked around him. No one seemed to notice him waking up on the ground, and though Shibuya was a busy district, even a teenager waking up in the middle of the sidewalk would get noticed by some people. Yet nobody spared him a glance, and it felt too…

_Shit._

_I’m dead. Again._

Neku sucked in a breath as he reached into his pocket, and he blinked as he felt the cold metal of a pin in it instead of his wallet. He stared at his hand while he pulled it out, and he let out a weary sigh at the unmistakable sight of the Player Pin. What other pins did he get? He searched his pockets for another one, but he only found his wallet, devoid of anything except a Lv. 1 5000¥ pin, and his cellphone.

To think he didn’t bring his mp3 player because of the prom! And worse, he was still in the flashy clothes he had worn in the party. He’d be lucky if his partner didn’t make fun of him…

At that moment he felt the tell-tale static of the Noise gathering around him, and he clicked his tongue at this horrible sense of déjà vu. He needed a partner soon, or else he’ll be erased before he even had the chance to fight, and wouldn’t that be shameful of a Game veteran such as himself…

He didn’t even get the chance to run away from the Noise when he felt the lurch of a pact forcefully shoved into him. It was another too-familiar feeling, and he looked around frantically for Joshua, only to be quickly caught in and attacked by the Noise.

_Fuck!_ He didn’t even have a single Pin, so he was useless in this Zone. Joshua, or whoever his partner is, will have to deal with erasing the Noise himself. It shouldn’t be too hard for the bastard; Joshua was the Composer, after all, and even though the little shit was a jerk, Joshua was still smart enough to not get them erased.

_Trust your partner, trust your partner,_ Neku chanted as he dodged the green Frogs skilfully, rather thankful he kept in shape for the last year. _Easy to say, when there really are many reasons not to_. He did let out a slight smirk as one of the frogs disappeared; at least his partner was doing the job right. It didn’t take long for the rest of the noise to be erased, and when the last frog disintegrated, Neku slumped in relief; it had been too long since he needed this much exercise, after all.

“Hey, Partner.”

Neku turned around and came face-to-face with a face that had plagued his dreams – and nightmares – for a year now, and his mouth curled to a sneer as he grabbed Joshua by the collar. “You bastard! What shit are you dragging me into now?!”

He had to give Joshua’s acting some credit – the boy, who looked no older than the last time Neku saw him, seemed genuinely confused and a little scared. Neku wasn’t buying into that act though; he knew exactly what Joshua was, and there was no fooling him this time around. “Answer me! What’s my entry fee now?!”

This time Joshua gave him an incredulous look and tried to push him away with weak arms, but Neku’s grip was too strong. Losing patience, the orange-haired teenager shook Joshua one last time and let go too abruptly, leaving Joshua to stumble behind him as he stormed off to Hachiko. Maybe Outback Café had some pins for sale that he could use for combat…

“Wait! Can you please slow down?!”

Neku stopped on his tracks just as a panting Joshua bumped against his back, nearly toppling them both down to the ground, but Neku regained his balance at the last second. He quickly shrugged Joshua off, who had been leaning on him for support, and balled his fist. “Stop being a fucking slowpoke and catch up to me. It wouldn’t hurt you to use your wings and just fly instead if you’re so slow on your feet.”

His partner let out a loud ‘huh?’ and went to his side. “Just what do you think I am? An angel? We’re both Players here, and as your Partner - ”

At this, Neku turned angrily at Joshua. “As my Partner, what? Look, don’t fool around with me. We both know you’re the Composer, you have wings, and you’re damn well not a Player!”

“HA? What are you talking about?” This time, Joshua glared at him and huffed, then sighed in annoyance. “I don’t know you, and you’ll have to take my word for it. I remember _nothing_ , so until I remember why you’re so angry at me, you’ve no right to take it out on me.”

_Weird. He never gives straight answers._ Joshua’s painfully honest reply did surprise him though; there was none of that smug smirking bastard who annoyed Neku to no end. Instead there was this confused kid whose eyes were so young and innocent, and he always remembered Joshua having an old soul’s eyes. Neku knew what it felt to have no memories too, and Joshua didn’t seem to have the mask that Neku used to hide his feelings about his amnesia.

Now that he looked at it, Joshua looked very lost, though it still didn’t explain how Joshua easily forced a pact with him like the first time. Letting out an exasperated sigh (he had too much happening to quickly), Neku just folded his arms and breathed deeply. “Fine, I’ll forgive you for now. Been there, done that, and I guess even as an amnesiac you could still force pacts – “

“Actually, the pact was forced on me too.”

_What?_ “That’s impossible! Usually both of us have to accept before a pact is formed…”

Joshua just shrugged and looked him in the eye. “Again, I don’t know how. But we have to get to 104 soon, or so the Mail says…”

“What?!” He didn’t even realize they had their mission already! Neku quickly looked at his palm and cursed. There it was, the ticking _8.30_ digits decreasing as the seconds passed, and he cursed under his breath. He opened his phone too, and only then did he notice the new message, no thanks to Shiki putting his phone on Silent mode beforehand. The Mission Mail did say ‘Go to 104 in 10 minutes or face erasure,’ which proved to him even more that Joshua wasn’t lying about their missions or the lack of memories.

“Partner?”

_Sheesh_. “It’s Neku. I’ll explain everything to you later, but we have to get to 104 as soon as we can. With our luck the wall could still be blocked by some Reaper…”

“Right. You seem to know a lot about the game…” Joshua trailed off.

Neku rolled his eyes and grabbed his partner’s wrist. He’ll have to drag Joshua to his speed if he didn’t want his partner to be left behind, and until he could get a combat pin he really needed Joshua. “Duh. Mission first, chat later. Unless you want to be Erased…”

Of course his partner shouted with a loud ‘No!’ Smirking, Neku pulled Joshua north up Scramble Crossing, and just as he thought, there was a Reaper guarding a wall from them. The condition was simple, as expected for the first day: Erase the Noise. Joshua and Neku didn’t have a problem with that, and it didn’t take long for them to clear the wall and make it through to 104. Luckily for them too, this time there was no renegade Reaper on the warpath to Erasing them so soon, unlike his first Day with Shiki…

“Neku? Our mission’s cleared, right?” Joshua asked with the same tone he used to use back then when he wanted to do something aside from the mission.

 

It bothered Neku for a moment before he answered with a slight nod. “Alright, I guess should tell you…”


	3. Calling

_“Wake up. Time for us to realize..”_

Even after three Games, Neku never got used to the discomfort of suddenly waking up the next day, with no recollection of falling asleep the day before. He didn’t quite understand how they just ended up in a different place too, but he at least learned to just ignore the mystery of it all. There was no use asking questions after all.

Speaking of questions…

Neku turned to his partner and raised a brow as he watched Joshua type furiously on his phone. He knew, of course, that Joshua’s telekinesis was dependent on the phone, which must be way easier than Neku’s pin. It’s a little unfair, but then again when was anything fair? Sheesh, even as a soul Neku always had it hard.

Joshua probably noticed his staring, and his partner gave him a smug smirk. “See something you like?”

 _Ugh. So his attitude still stays._ Neku huffed and turned away. Joshua’s personality was exactly the type that Neku hated, and with his stupid luck he ended up with the jerk again. And to think Neku once thought of Joshua as an almost-friend, only to be shot by the bastard again. At least he ended up alive, and somehow it all worked out, but things went to shit even after that…

When he turned back to face Joshua, the kid’s smirk was gone, replaced by a long serious look as the boy tinkered with the phone. A serious Joshua was struck more discomfort in him; he never knew what to feel when he wasn’t otherwise annoyed by Joshua’s smirk and teasing. The anger that he associated with being toyed by the Composer was gone, since, well, this Joshua who was with him now wasn’t the Composer. And asshole or not, Joshua didn’t deserve to take responsibility of actions he didn’t even remember doing. This Joshua looked a little troubled though, and only then did Neku remember that he didn’t get the chance to talk to Joshua about…everything. “Hey.”

His partner looked up. “Yes?”

“You got anything to ask me? Like, how the Game works and stuff.” Neku shifted uncomfortably, only noticing that he was leaning against a grimy wall and that they were at the Shibu Dep. Well, better than waking up in the middle of Scramble…

Joshua scoffed and flicked his phone close, then turned to face Neku. “Preach, oh wise one.”

 _Ingrate._ “I’m trying to be helpful, and you’re not helping at all.” _Try my patience…_

This time, Joshua shifted and put his phone back to his pocket, then took a deep breath. “I know enough, thank you. But since you so want me to ask…” The boy looked him in the eye. “Why were you angry at me?”

 _Understatement of the year._ Neku swallowed back the hatred that threatened to rise; he had to keep himself in check for the rest of the week, or at least until Joshua remembers what happened last year. “You shot me to get me in the Game. Things went downhill from there, but in the end you shot me again and I woke up alive in Scramble.”

The boy had the decency to wince. “Wow. No wonder you hate me. So how did you end up in the Game this time around? Did I shoot you again?”

Neku rolled his eyes and sighed. “Don’t sound so proud. I guess I got hit by a truck in front of my girl-“ At this he abruptly stopped and swallowed. “Ex-girlfriend’s school.” Neku didn’t mention the weird presence he felt and heard in the party,

“Ahh, that’s a nasty way to die. People should learn to watch where they’re going-“

 _Rub salt on the wound, will you?_ Neku tuned out whatever blather Joshua was saying after that, and after a few moments his partner finally noticed that he wasn’t paying attention anymore. Joshua huffed and pulled out the phone again, typing so furiously even Neku was worried for his phone. “Hey, no need to take it out on the tec-“

“Shut up.”

 _Why you…_ ”Joshua, how did you die?”

He swore he saw his partner stiffen, then turn to glare at him. “How do you know my name? What else do you know about me?”

 _Answer my question first, will ya?_ Neku sighed and slouched against the wall. “You’re Yoshiya Kiryu, about 16 to 18 years old, and even when you were still alive you had the ability to see the UG, Players and Reapers and all that.”

Joshua kept glaring at him, wordlessly goading him to say more. Looks like they were going to talk after all.

“Long story short, you were my partner on my second Game, and in the end of everything I found out you were the Composer – “

The jerk had the nerve to cut him off. “I’m not the Composer. At least, not anymore.”

“Right, let’s see about that. And the rest, I already told you.”

Both of them were silent for a few tense moments, just defiantly glaring at each other, before Joshua pushed himself off the wall and shoved the abused cellphone into Neku’s hands. Neku barely caught it, having to lurch and catch it in his arms. “The heck?!”

His partner stomped away, and this time Neku was the one who had to go after him. The jerk was surprisingly fast when he wasn’t trying to be a diva. “Hey! Joshua, what the fu-“

Joshua quickly turned and glared at Neku again. While Neku was already immune to Shiki’s glares (awfully frequent, since their relationship was just that sour the whole time), Joshua’s eyes were more frightening and serious. He took a few steps forward as he stared back at Joshua, and just when he was about to tell his partner to buck up, Joshua’s phone rang loudly in Neku’s hands. They both stared at it for a long while until Joshua grabbed it from his hands again and answered it. “Hello?”

Neku gave Joshua a disinterested look as he shoved his hands in his pockets, reminded again that he was still pretty useless in battle. They’d have to grab something along the way or Joshua would have to do all the work. He thumbed the Player Pin as he watched his partner talk on the phone with…whoever.

“WildKat Café? I don’t know where that is…” That caught Neku’s attention; Mr. H’s Café, though closed in the RG, was definitely open here. Maybe the man could shed some light to their situation. Then he recalled that back then, Joshua and Mr. H kept calling each other, so that must be it…

It didn’t take long for Joshua to end the call, and he gave Neku a confused look. “Do you know where Wildkat Café is?”

Neku nodded and glanced at Joshua’s phone. “Who was that?”

“Called himself Sanae. He said I had to go there as soon as I can…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truly sorry for the late updates >.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I’m late to the fandom, but I just love the game so much I just had to give in to the plot bunnies. I’m also incapable of proper storytelling, even after all the beautiful well-written XMFC and Avengers fanfiction I’ve drowned myself these past few months, so do forgive my sub-par writing! This work is also un-beta’d.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Chapter titles and quotes are from The World Ends With You soundtrack. Listening to the title song is recommended!


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